A tribute to those who battle cancer
Reveling in nature can bring comfort to those suffering from cancer, like it did for my friend, Chris. Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs / Photo by Deborah Lynch
As one of my friends embarks today on a Route 66 adventure with five other women to create distraction and help their friend who has been fighting pancreatic cancer for nearly four years cross some things off her bucket list, I learned that one of my dearest friends and most treasured mentors has died from melanoma that metastasized to his spine, liver, and brain. I am heartbroken. At the same time, my 12-years-younger brother battles through chemotherapies to kick his Stage 3 colon cancer. Cancer knows no boundaries, grants no privilege, does not discriminate. It strikes young and old, white, black, Asian, Latino, and every race everywhere. Winning the fight against it is unpredictable. It robs us off our arrogance, our confidence, our sense of control. It takes some of the best people.My beloved former boss, Christopher Pett-Ridge, the former Brit who never lost his Britishisms as when he ordered his warm Bass ales and buggered off at the end of each shift, got his fatal diagnosis last fall before hiking the Appalachian Trail with his long-time friend and colleague, my other best professional mentor, David Michelmore. In retirement, the two of them put Hollywood versions of hiking the AT to shame. They traveled the state and country looking for each great hike. P-R told Mich that he’d had a patch of black on the back of his earlobe lobbed off just before the AT hike. He said it had been there for several years, but he hadn’t bothered to have it checked out until he got a lump on his neck. It was melanoma. It had metastasized to his liver and spine.He took experimental short-term therapies that took away the pain in his bones and started to shrink the liver and neck tumors. He continued to hike and live life on his terms. He took a five-week trip to his favorite place on earth, New Zealand, with his wife. Their two daughters and their families joined them for different parts of the trip. He trekked miles and miles, summited mountains, visited many cousins, and drank his favorite flat white coffees. Towards the end of the trip, he started experiencing chills and flu-like symptoms.On his return, he went cold turkey on drugs so doctors could put him on new therapies. The cancer was no longer diminishing, but was gaining strength. It was now in his brain. He fought and continued to have strength and to request his strong British teas until his final week.
Chris and his family hiking in New Zealand in March
Chris was one of a kind. From him I learned good design, I learned about good writing, I learned patience, I learned appreciation for good books, nature, and adventure. A former fisherman in Norway, he came into the newspaper business without a college education, but he was smarter and had a better eye and ear than anyone I had ever met. Later in life, he took up running. He didn’t just jog short distances, he ran marathons and then ultra-marathons. He took me along on his adventure as his running partner in the New York City Marathon. I will treasure that experience forever. Thanks to him, I accomplished more than I otherwise would have. He taught me to believe in myself.
My brother, Andy Everitt, in beast mode during his 9th chemo treatment
My brother, Andy Everitt, who is just 42, got his cancer verdict just before Christmas. He had suffered bleeding in his stool for more than two years. Doctors had told him it was hemorrhoids and put him on meds for that without examining further. He waited another year before finally seeking a colonoscopy that revealed the mass in his colon. Surgery revealed more than 10 affected lymph nodes. They think they got it all. He started round 10 of chemotherapy yesterday and has two more treatments.Every two weeks, the treatments wallop him. He has good days, and bad days. The bad days make him want to quit. His mouth is always dry so he can’t eat carbs. He replaces them with milk shakes, tapioca, apple sauce. I never imagined a cancer patient gaining weight, but he has. Milk shakes are his elixir. He’s suffered from a wound infection. He has a hernia. All of it adds to the pain and the scare. Focusing on his kids and his family help him to get through it. I would never have expected he could be so brave and strong. I know I couldn’t be nearly as strong. I cry when my husband treats my bad ankle with ice packs.
The Sixty Sixtas with my friend Julie front left, and Patty, back third from left.
The Bradenton friends who have dubbed themselves the Sixty Sixtahs are supporting their friend Patty Virgilio who first was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008, then pancreatic cancer in 2012 and thyroid cancer in 2014. She is in remission from breast and thyroid cancer, but continues chemotherapy to beat the pancreatic cancer. She and her friends will hit Route 66 for the days between rounds 40 and 41. Their trip covers 2,400 miles – 300 a day – through Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and finally, California, where they hope to meet Patty’s idols Ellen DeGeneres and Melissa McCarthy. Their community and local media gave them a sendoff on their trip. Follow their travels on their blog at https://dontforgetwinonablog.wordpress.comWhen my brother first let friends and family know about his diagnosis, he posted links to the organization, Fuck Cancer. It sounds so vulgar and ugly. Yet, that’s what cancer is. The group’s homepage includes this disclaimer: “We are sorry if you are offended or have a problem with the word FxCK! We are offended and have a problem with the word CANCER!” I don’t like seeing those words, but I understand why they bring a certain strength to sufferers.Each cancer sufferer and also those close to patients have their own ways of coping with diagnosis, treatment, and what follows. Some hike mountains. Some take road trips. Some surround themselves with family and things that bring comfort. Those of us who by pure luck haven’t experienced cancer personally can only vow to be there for those who weren’t so fortunate. I went to visit my friend Chris in February. I emailed with him in March. Then, I let time pass. I found out today he died. I feel brokenhearted for his family. I feel sad that I wasn’t in touch more at the end. Be there for your friends. Be there for your family. This is for survivors like Patty and Andy. You are my heroes. This is also for Chris. I’m sorry I wasn’t there at the end. Cancer sucks.
Works Consulted
Dymond, Richard. “Thanks to her friends, Bradenton woman gets trip of a lifetime.” Bradenton Herald. Bradenton.com. 6 July 2016. Web. 8 July 2016.Fuck Cancer: www.fxckcancer.org. FC Cancer Foundation. 2014. Web. 8 July 2016.Rothfeld, Julie. Dontforgetwinonablog: Six girls on Route 66. Blog at Wordpress.com.Chris Pett-Ridge. http://elinore.typepad.com/chris_pettridge/