Repression, regression, and tragedy

Photo by Deborah Lynch

Many years ago – well before movements toward acceptance and equal rights for the LGBT community – I had a homophobic colleague. He was not only homophobic, he was femalephobic, rainphobic, poor grammarphobic, and many other phobias, most of which we attributed to his status as a Vietnam War vet. He had legally changed his name so that his family couldn’t find him. From what any of his co-workers knew, he had no family and few friends in his life. He lived alone in a tower apartment. We joked that he probably had his scope set up there checking on everyone and everything around him.Despite his many eccentricities, we didn’t worry about him too much. Oddities included discomfort if it rained over lunch hour and he got some drops on his head. He would return from lunch in a dour mood, and soon after would speak to the boss in his curt staccato: “Head wet. Request permission to bail out early.” Those episodes became known to all as “head wets.” Hell hath no fury like an editor facing a “which” when a “that” is required. We learned to know his idiosyncrasies and to stay out of his way.He didn’t acknowledge my presence much at the beginning, I guess, because of a deep-seated hatred for a former female colleague who had given him his assignments. One day, as I was speaking to my boss whose desk was behind his chair, my phobic colleague purposely rolled his chair over my feet. Shocked, I turned around and screamed at him. From the day that I asserted myself to him, he realized that I was not a pushover and began to not only acknowledge me, but also to befriend me. Years later when I lived in Vermont, he even contacted me for visits on his fall foliage – that’s pronounced fol-i-age, he admonished – expeditions, much to the trepidation of my husband to which I responded, “It’s better that he likes us.”He sat beside a colleague we believed to be gay. They despised one another and despite sitting next to one another never spoke. Yet, they kept tabs on one another. One night, we all received a shock. Our phobic co-worker had been caught by police in Detroit attempting to put sugar into the gas tank of the former female colleague he despised (the mistaken belief was this would disable the engine, but no one knows what else he had planned). The police had been tipped off by his work nemesis, who as a computer whiz, had been checking his actions in the computer, and had discovered correspondence with the author of a book on revenge, and an itinerary for the trip to Detroit. Among his many lists in the computer was a hit list of colleagues.Everyone, whether they were on the hit list or not, was fearful. Our employer got him psychiatric treatment and gave him extended leave from work, but we were told he would return. He did, much subdued.He needed treatment for his many phobias. According to Freud’s reaction formation, people can rail against things for which they have urges that they repress out of fear or shame. A 2012 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that “homophobia can result, at least in part, from the suppression of same-sex desire.” It would be a leap for me to conclude that my former colleague was repressing homosexual  desires, but his behavior towards many different groups of people was inexplicable.Recent news reports into the background of Omar Mateen, the shooter of 49 patrons at a gay nightclub in Orlando, quote witnesses saying they had seen him at the club many times over the past three years. Additionally, some witnesses say that he had used and solicited men on gay dating and chat apps called Jack’d and Grindr. Was he merely acquiring information and casing the site of his planned attack? Or, was he struggling inwardly? It’s clear from interviews with his ex-wife that he was abusive with anger issues.In the 2012 study, the authors found that participants who had controlling parents prejudiced towards homosexuals were more likely to claim they were highly straight yet show signs of same-sex attraction. Mateen’s father has been quoted throughout the news as saying “God will punish those involved in homosexuality," It's, "not an issue that humans should deal with. He doesn't have the right, nobody has the right to harm anything, anybody," Mateen told CBS News. "What a person's lifestyle is, is up to him. It's a free country. Everybody has their own choice to live the way they want to live."Regardless of what is revealed about Mateen as investigations continue, one thing is certain: Most of the killers in some of the biggest and most frightening mass shootings in recent years suffered from mental issues – Adam Lanza who killed 20 children and six staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary in 2012; James Holmes who killed 12 strangers at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, in 2012; Seung-Hui Cho who killed 32 at Virginia Tech in 2007; and too many more.The gun control debate will continue to rage, but with or without guns – as my former colleague proved with sugar – those who are determined to exact revenge or to kill will find ways to do it. What our nation needs to address is mental health issues.

Works Consulted

Domonoskie, Camila. “Reports: Gunman Had Visited Nightclub Before, Used Gay Dating Apps.” The Two-Way: Breaking News from NPR. NPR.org. 14 June 2016. Web. 15 June 2016.“Orlando Gunman’s Dad Walks Back Condemnation of Gays.” CBS News. CBS Interactive. 13 June 2016. Web. 15 June 2016.Ryan, Richard and William Ryan. “Homophobic? Maybe You’re Gay.” The New York Times. The New York Times Company. 27 April 2012. Web. 15 June 2016.